Is there a rule that once you turn 50 you have to start carrying around some sort of hard candy in your purse? Every Sunday at church there are always multiple interruptions of someone between the ages of 50-90 making crinkling noises as they open up plastic candy wrappers. Has anyone ever seen someone younger than this feel the need to always have hard candy in their purse and open it at the quietest moments?
The only good thing about insomnia is being up to watch Saved by the Bell.
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Candy also comes in useful when you have small children that sit in the pews near you so that you can entice them to be your friend. My uncle never comes to church without a couple of packs of smarties in his shirt pocket.
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