So much of the things to do

So it turns out that I've been working entirely too much to document anything that's been going on around here. I still have my empty boxes hanging out in my apartment. They're taking up some room though because in moving up here I had this grandiose idea of packing super lightly and starting off with a "simple" life. I didn't factor in more than one of each dish and one set of silverware in this equation or things like a dish drying rack, lighting (because I'm pretty sure my overhead light gives off as much light as my cell phone does), and general homey things. So about $550 later I have things to dry my clothes and dishes on, enough dishes to not have to do them everyday, cleaning things, a couple of lamps and throw pillows. I, however, cannot do anything about my blue bathtub, sink and tile. JWU's color is blue and they are not letting anyone forget about it. I also cannot do anything about how my floor squeaks if I even move a toe. Thank goodness I leave on the top floor. But y'all, it's free, it's a real ass apartment (as opposed to my fake ass apartment at LSU...or more like fake ass kitchen) there's only 3 other people that live in my building (all professional staff) and I don't have to live in a residence hall. BANGARANG.

Things I love about Providence so far (these are all food related):

1. My job comes with a meal plan. I work at a culinary school therefore my meal plan perk is afreakingmazing. Last night I had curried lamb, eggplant massurka and stewed carrots for dinner. Yes, from a cafeteria. A cafeteria that is not run by 50 year old disgruntled cafeteria workers, but by mildly bitter culinary students.

2. My meal plan includes Starbucks. I can get a free venti latte, etc. and a water FO FREE once or twice a day. Is this real life?

3. The bubble tea company. I love bubble tea and have had my fair share, but this place has ENDLESS possibilities and you have the choice of getting lychee or yogurt balls instead of tapioca balls.

4. I'm sure when the snow melts this place will be real pretty like. Right now the snow looks like poop.

Ok, so I have had no time to explore this city thanks to currently being overworked, but hopefully by the time the weather gets pretty I'll have the job more under control. So far so great with the job though.

So people around here are clueless about Mardi Gras which I find hilarious. My RAs decorate the lobbies and windows of my building per season each month. They were only going to do St. Paddy's day for March but I encouraged them to do some Mardi Gras decorations too. One of my windows currently says, "It's Mardi Gras time." It makes me laugh and I love every second of it. I seriously love them so much for attempting to incorporate some of my culture into their decoration and the phrase "It's Mardi Gras time" will make me smile every time I see it. Not, "Let the Good Times Roll" or "Laissez les bon temps roulez," but "It's Mardi Gras Time."

Also, one of the new RAs for this trimester (yes, school here is measured in pregnancy terms...gross) is from Pascagoula. Small, small world.

Twang

People here keep making fun of my southern accent, but they ALL have crazy accents. I can't really gang up on every student and staff member at the school though. Someone even described my voice today as having a twang. Seriously?? I just don't even know how they would react if they actually heard someone with a thick southern accent. Also, y'all is a very useful contraction New Englanders.

Back to the Blog

So tomorrow I get on a one way flight to Providence, RI and start a new adventure. I'll be working at Johnson & Wales University.

Basically I'm a crazy person that gets a kick out of moving somewhere in the middle of a blizzard. Sounds like a great idea, right? I bought a crazy Columbia jacket that looks like a freaking microwave on the inside (because that's how I made my final decision in buying, anything that makes me think of food is a sure winner) and some "stylish" snow boots (however that adjective goes along with that noun).

My Corolla who I not so affectionately call Sam is already in Providence. He rode on a big open 18 wheeler in style with some Lexus (Lexuses? Lexi?). He's been there since last Tuesday so I'm sure he's covered in about 10 feet of snow right now.

I really have no idea what I'm getting myself into, but here's to a new adventure and some potentially hilarious blogs about my sure to be clumsy and ungraceful transition into a new job and new region.

Suga pie honey dumplin'

I have almost always been weirded out by the use of terms of endearment, but now that I'm waiting tables I keep catching myself using them. "May I refill your tea, sweetie?" "May I take this plate out of your way, hun." So far I've only caught myself saying these things to kids, but I'm worried it could get out of hand if I don't wrangle this problem stat. It's probably tied in with my waitress slightly whorish alter ego that believes if I wear eyeliner and lipstick to work I might get a couple of extra dollars. My waitress ego also believes that the makeup might just balance out the fact that I have to wear a tie and the only white oxford shirts I can find that fit me are from the husky section in the little boys department.

I've also gotten really terrible at sleeping lately. Are my granny days of early to bed, early to rise done for? I suppose I'll have plenty of time for that in 40 years or so. Until then my brain refuses to stop turning over ideas about jobs and what I should do/am doing with my life.

Wedding Crasher

Saturday the weather was absolutely gorgeous on the Coast and I wanted to spend as much time as possible outside before I had to spend my night refilling salad and breadsticks.

So, I went for my normal ralk, wog, jalk, whatever you want to call it, over the Popps Ferry Bridge and then decided to go bring my lawn chair out to the beach and do some reading.

I definitely looked like a 40 year old divorcee: Ball cap, sunglasses, running shorts, sports bra, tank top and Chacos with a bottle of water, lawn chair and my book on the sand with my feet in the water. I'm sure Jodi Picoult has already written a book about a person exactly like me. Regardless it was awesome and I don't blame you for being jealous. :)

When I set up camp I noticed that there was a white awning set up about 100 feet away from me, but it was deserted so I just figured someone got married there earlier that day or the day before. However, about 30 minutes after sitting there I noticed people bringing in flowers, etc and literally 10 minutes later about 30 or 40 people just started piling in for the wedding. I was going to move, but then I looked to my right and about 25 feet away were workers picking up tar balls so I figured I might as well just stay where I was. However, I looked to my left again and saw the photographer start snapping shots of what I thought was me. What the hell!? Then I looked to my right and saw the bride and her father processing parallel to the Gulf towards me and the awning. SHIT. At this point it was entirely too late for me to move. So I awkwardly smiled at the bride as she walked behind me, apologized and told her congratulations in which her reply was, "Thanks! You get to be in my wedding pictures!" Awesome.... And through all this I wasn't paying attention to how long I had been out there resulting in an awesome sun burn.

It seems that I can't get away from weddings. My friends are happy and in love, what can I say? Cook/Lampton nuptials down and what a blast they were! (I know that's, right!) Next in 2 and a half months comes the Malone/Lott nuptials.

Back to a little blogging

In order to work through some of my, what the hell am I doing/going to do with my life sentiments and to share some of the happenings in my life lately that I find hilarious I've decided to blog semi-regularly again.

Things I've accomplished in the past 5 months:

1. I'm a MASTA! Hey oh! I've got a fancy pink hood and another fancy piece of paper.

2. Successfully got through some icky family stuff that after 4 years finally was resolved.

3. Been rejected from every job I've applied for except for the super awesome one I have now (total at 6 jobs and still waiting to hear back from 2)

4. Got hired at the Olive Garden as a server with NO restaurant experience by just walking in with an application. Who needs those jobs that I'm actually mildly qualified for anyway? I wear a tie everyday to work. Doesn't get much more professional than that.

5. I've become a more well read lady.

6. Sang a fancy recital with Miss Jessica Nelson on the keys in Tupelo.

7. Married off one of my best friends, not that I really had much to do with this besides planning some things and having a good time and eating entirely more than I should have.

8. Made fun trips to Chattanooga and False River

9. Made a presentation on Valuing Diversity at RYLA

10. Attended 2 other weddings of good friends and got to sing at one with Walt. Bangarang.

11. Attempted to move to NYC, but thanks to crazy ass brokers trying to screw people over the mission failed.

Ok, so looking at that list makes me feel a tinie tad bit better about myself because I haven't been a complete bum since graduation, but I still feel completely directionless. Why did I go to grad school for music again? Do I still want to move to NYC and give performing a shot? Do I want to go back to school and try to figure out a different career path? No stinking idea. Until then I plan to keep applying to jobs and enjoy what I can of life.

Who Dat!

I don't think I've ever said that phrase before in my life, but I think this is as good a time to start then ever. Living in Louisiana right now is just awesome. The spirit around this town and campus is just contagious!

When I grumpily was called out of my bed too early this morning because one of my desk assistants didn't show up to work, I immediately perked up when I went to the desk and was greeted by the custodial staff with a, "Who dat!" Hi? Hello? How are you? All of these are banished from colloquial English and are now replaced with, "Who dat!" There was also some singing of "Who let the dogs out," not too sure about that one, but hilarious and wonderful all the same. I thought the Saints winning would bring out the drunk crazies, but it seems to have just brought out the nice in everyone! :) Apparently the crime rate in Louisiana has been down like whoa in the past 2 weeks too. So there ya go, The Saints: miracle workers in more ways than one.

In other news, my nephew's soccer team are the MS State Champs and he scored the one and only goal! :) I'm a pretty proud aunt if I say so myself.

24 days until my recital! EEK! I still have 5 songs to memorize (2 of which I still have to learn). This week is going to be productivity central. So I'm getting off of this dang computer right now!

Things that have made me laugh...

Here are some things that I have found quite hilarious the past couple of days that I believe are worth sharing.

1. In Biloxi at a Christmas tree place a sign that said, "Fresh Reefs and Garland." Coral reefs? Barrier reefs? REEFS!?

2. On my way back to Baton Rouge I got caught behind a car being towed. On the back windshield of the car this was written: "CAR IN TOWN"

3. Tonight was the holiday/end of the semester celebration for all of the residents in the Basic Sciences Residence College. The received gifts from the college of Basic Sciences that included a Darwin book, grapefruit and oranges, and YAMS. No worries though, they gave them instructions on how to microwave the yams so they could eat them in their residence halls.

I went to mass tonight...

and the church didn't burn down.

It was the first time that I've voluntarily been to mass in 3 years. I still don't agree with all the the Catholic Church is hollering and won't ever, but there's something comforting and really powerful about the mass to me. It's all that old school training, I suppose.

As George Michael so eloquently stated in 1987, "Cause, I gotta have faith."

Gettin' It.

1. Things you never want to overhear in a dressing room: "I had to fight to get this thing on, but it actually looks cute on." No, I never saw you in that garment, lady, but I have a feeling that you did not look cute in that outfit.
2. I bought leggings today...to go under a dress...I'm going to hell.
3. My bitterness for football season is back. I need the library on Saturdays. Go get drunk somewhere else tailgaters.
4. I just scheduled my last semester of grad school and therefore my last semester of schooling FOREVER or for a very long time. It feels good. I'm so done with school.

Dear real world,

I know you aren't friends with a lot of people, but I sure would love to be your friend. I'll buy you a drink(s).

Sincerely,

Jacqueline

Dear Cough,

Please stop beating up my vocal folds and preventing me from singing.

Thanks,

Me

P.S. Can you also tell Robitussin that they are NOT non-drowsy? I'm gonna tear their asses up for the false advertising on their box.

Reasons why today was bangin'

1. Laying in the grass on the parade grounds for almost 2 hours. Score. Give me fall weather, sun and some grass and open skies and I'm the happiest lady in the world pretty much.

2. Kick ass 2 hour practice session. I still feel like I'm swimming in new music though, but slowly but surely it's coming

3. Deciding to walk back to my place instead of hitching a ride tonight after practicing because of the awesome weather which led to...

4. The Michaud siblings almost running me over in a crosswalk on campus, which then led to Lauren realizing it was me and screaming...which led to me stopping in the middle of the crosswalk...which led to me almost getting hit by another car...which led to me almost getting hit by a bicycle..which led to Lauren jumping out of the Jeep...which led to an awesome Jeep right with Lauren and her brother. The combination of ridiculousness/randomness/Michaudness made me happy like whoa.

5. Discovering John Daker's friends on youtube. No seriously, I laughed my ass off. If you love John Daker go look up the sextet and his friend Pearl Gross on youtube NOW. And if you haven't ever watched John Daker, look up "My name is John Daker" on youtube NOW. You will not be disappointed. If you don't laugh, you are dead to me.

Ugh, and now it's almost Monday. Early morning Monday meetings should be banned. Work, test, presentation, rehearsal, more work. Can I graduate yet?

I don't know if it's the weather or what, but today I had a very strong urge to go to mass. I haven't been to mass voluntarily in, I don't know how long, 2, 3 years? I ended up not going because of practicing and studying and what not, but now I still really wish I would have gone. WEIRD. Is my come to Jesus moment going to happen?

I also can't decide if I should go to Millsaps Homecoming this weekend. Of course I want to, but I don't know how much it will stress me out if I do go. However, there's the Auburn game this weekend here and I have a ticket, but I think I might be over the craziness/fun of football games here. Decisions, decisions.

Maybe I'll start posting in this thing more regularly? Who knows.

Love Boat

Late night studying for midterms makes me really sad. Not because it's for a terrible Classical Music History survey class and I'm tired of learning about this stuff and ready to graduate, but because it makes me miss Millsaps like whoa.

Late night studying in Ashley's recliner, all nighters in the library, ranch fries with the PKC ladies back when Aladdin was actually 24 hours and sketch, the Atrium, sweet Jesus I miss living in the Atrium, and so much more. I know this post seems really lame, but I don't care. I'm tired and procrastinating so it's about to get lamer. I miss being somewhere where I know I'm cared about and loved. At Millsaps I always knew that even without my family and without a significant other I always had someone close by who legitimately cared about me and would do anything for me. I have some great friends here in Baton Rouge, but for some reason it's just not the same. As the ever eloquent Dean Katz said that faithful day at the Millsaps Night in Columbus, "Ole Miss might be the battleship of Mississippi, Mississippi State might be the tug boat of Mississippi, but Millsaps, Millsaps is the love boat of Mississippi."

I'll be blogging from here: JacquelineinAustria while away on my trip. Check it out!

Bebopping

Bebopping around the Gulf Coast has been exactly what I've been doing. Practicing/learning music, teaching voice lessons, and working 2 days a week at the South Mississippi AIDS Task Force. Oh, and of course loving my Netflix subscription.

So my aspirations of becoming an aerobics star ended. It's just too damn hot, y'all. However, if you need instruction on how to appropriately jog/walk around ones neighborhood just hit me up. I also haven't gone to the Beau in my sparkly red dress to find a man yet either, simply because I can't fit in my sparkly red dress anymore (and if anyone that is reading this can fit in something they wore when they were in high school then go eat a cheeseburger immediately). Besides, there's no time for all of these things anymore because I leave for London in 13 days! 2 nights in London, flying to Munich, busride to Salzburg than 5 weeks of schooling in Salzburg. I'm nervous as hell.

Biloxi

Ok, so I haven't updated in a while because I'm back at home in Biloxi and things just aren't interesting. I'm not about to bore you guys. Well, maybe just a little bit if you're bored enough to be reading this.

Ok, so this is a little ridiculous, but it totally made my day. While running/walking the OS/Biloxi bridge I saw dolphins! 2 of them. Ok, so maybe that seems not exciting to you people, but I live somewhere that I can see dolphins on a regular basis and I think that's pretty damn cool. So there.

I'm really enjoying just hanging out with the fam. I'm just giving voice lessons and working one day a week at the AIDS task force. My last summer of freedom and I'm loving every minute of it.

38 days until I leave for Europe! Play on, playas!

Half of a Master

Thanks for all of your replies. I guess I'll just try putting on my deodorant after I get dressed, but changing up my morning routine scares me a little.

I'm officially done with my first year of grad school. I'm halfway done with my Masters. Weird. I rocked out my jury, got cast in the fall production, got a sweet job as a GHD, and I finally think people know I go to school there. Basically the past month has made up for the terrible past 9 months.

So I don't leave for Austria until July 8th and I got a job with res life so I have to move out of my house at the end of this month and move back home for June. No one will hire me for a month so what should I do? Here are some of my ideas:

1. Use my netflix account until my brain turns to mush
2. Brush up my aerobics skills and train to be the next big aerobics instructor star (why isn't there a reality TV show for that?)
3. Find a sugar daddy at the Beau Rivage
4. Abuse and overuse my parents' 50 bottle wine cooler
5. Relish in the fact that this is the last month of my entire life that I can be completely bored and lazy. (a la summer 2006)

Yes, I think I will do all of these things. Please feel free to add any other suggestions.

DeodoRANT

I have a problem with deodorant. Without fail I always get it all over my shirt. Because I'm so used to it I usually don't even bother getting rid of the deodorant stains because I figure everyone else is used to seeing them everyday.

So I'm asking you, my faithful blog readers, what is the trick to putting on your shirt without getting deodorant stains on it?

"Singing is like a prolonged orgasm."

This is what my voice teacher told me Tuesday in studio class after I sang. That is not in my private voice lesson, but after I sang in front of our entire studio which consists of about 20 people.
She then proceeded to ask, "Does this analogy work for you?" I feel like my voice teacher is encouraging me to be sluttier? This would be great advice if every male in the school of music wasn't gay or questionably gay. So I'm now working on singing like I'm having a prolonged orgasm. I'll keep you guys updated on how that works out for me.


I really should stop drinking before recitals. What else is a girl supposed to do when she gets out of a 4 hour rehearsal and has merely one hour before she has to go to the millionth required voice recital she has to attend this semester and the school of music is conveniently located next to a street lined with bars? Having drunken conversation while trying to pretend to be sober with my voice teacher at a recital, however, is mildly embarrassing, but mostly highly entertaining.

Jank

According to Urban Dictionary the definition for the word jank is as follows: adj- broken; unnecessarily redundant, superfluous, or meaningless; stupid or ridiculously moronic; bootleg or of questionable quality.

This is also my facebook status currently because people in the school of music at LSU have no idea what this word is! GASP! It's been a regular part of my vocabulary for a long time now and I dismissed the first funny looks I got when saying it here, but at a party Saturday night after saying it in front of a group of people and all 4 of them asking what it meant I was in shock. They instead use words like, "totes," short for totally. I'm scared because I think it might be slipping into my vocabulary and I'm trying to resist with all my might.

So people who do not know or use the word jank I have this to say to you: That is JANK!